It’s been more than a year since I blogged.
What used to be a near-daily occurrence has become something that now, I wish I had time to even read.
But such is the balance of #GirlBossing.
Since last we spoke, my darling readers, if there are any of you left, many things have change. Two jobs, one graduation, a dog and a move later, life has become much more complicated than it used to be.
And surprisingly, I don’t hate it.
Girl Bosses have always been the women I’ve looked up to; the Blair Waldorfs and Carrie Bradshaws of fiction became the Carly Heitlingers and Aliza Lichts of my real world. These fabulous ladies kicked butt and took names, and made a name for themselves in the process.
And suddenly, I look back at the last year, and realize that I, myself, have essentially been busy #Girlbossing. And sure, I’m still a work in progress. But if this is what Girl Bossing feels like, then I’m okay with that. Because at 21, I’m sitting in a pretty good place.
So what have I learned in the last year that has made me want to suddenly return from my blogging sabbatical?
To tell other future #GirlBosses in progress that not reaching perfection is okay.
In the last year, I’ve been developing my life in all aspects; personal, professional, even my side hustle took a good turn. But where I used to try and focus on everything at once – always putting 101% of my time into everything – I have learned that sometimes, it’s okay to put things on the back burner until you have the time, and the brain space, to focus on them.
I kid, but still.
The time I spent trying to do everything at once made me sick, both physically and mentally, to the point that I couldn’t put 100% into anything, much less everything. But what I learned is that the balance you put into your life, the time you spend focusing on work, with a little bit of social life and other projects here and there, can mean the difference between succeeding at the things you put time into, or half-assing the stuff you try to do while dividing your time into ten different projects.
Such is the balance of #GirlBossing.
And there will be people who try to tell you no. There will be friends who don’t understand why you aren’t always out with your Girl Gang. There will be bosses who think you should quit those extracurriculars because you shouldn’t put your fabulous mind to anything but what they want you to do. And there will be partners who simply don’t understand or support someone with as much drive as you.
Those are the branches you trim from your life.
And as a #GirlBoss, there will be obstacles in your way. There will be companies who give you a job that entails sitting pretty and taking notes – you know that’s not for you. There will be members of the “Old Boys Club” who will assume that you are either too young or that because you’re a woman, you can’t do the job you’re interviewing for – or already have. Time to find somewhere new.
It’s time to embrace the things that make you the amazing #GirlBoss you are.
Granted, this method may not work for you – you may be superwoman, able to juggle 100 things at 100% all at once.
Cool beans for you.
But at 21, I’m tired.
I was starting to feel burned out, to want to tell the organization’s I’d worked with for years that I was done, to put 1/2 the effort into work, to spend less and less time with even the most understanding of friends because all I wanted to do was sleep (and snuggle with the new puppy…). I was so busy juggling that while I was trying to keep all these things in the air going at 100%, I was forgetting to take care of the most important person in my life: me.
But there comes a time when you have to tell even yourself no.
So this is me, telling those Girl Bosses in progress, that it’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to stop juggling and start balancing.
In the words of another amazing #GirlBoss Emily Ley and a favorite verse from 2 Corinthians, I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection. Perfect is often unattainable, but grace sets you apart.